Poetry Challenge Day 19: Unbonded

I must learn again to bond

after losing my first friend, sibling and wombmate.

I must learn again to trust

after feeling abandoned from day one.

I must learn again to share

after losing the first person I ever shared food, water and shelter with.

I must learn again to light the flame of love

after my twin flame was snuffed out.

How can I mourn a loss that was so early?

How can I mourn the loss of someone that only mother and I knew?

Silence suffocates.

I am grateful for all I have today

but I still feel that someone has been missing.

I need to cry 30 year old tears.

If we were home in a Yoruba village

we would have been given a healing  ritual and divine guidance

but we lived in the ghetto so loss was expected.

At least this Black male would not know the

pain of stop and frisk, hustling and gun shots

he would die eventually so why not today?

There was no ritual, no tears, no village to raise us;

one on earth and the other in ancestorland.

No knowledge that there is no separation

between the living and the dead.

Just my mother’s silent tears and

my unspoken fear that I won’t ever be able to bond again.

                      Taken at Museum of Natural History

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